


No One's Ever Going to Need Somebody More Than I Need You

by Gibbs_and_Jibbs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Although you can't get any worse than Hydra!Cap so I'm not that worried, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Damn it everyone in this god damn movie needs a hug, Everyone is so angsty and now it's affecting my writing, I Blame Tumblr, I hope I didn't fuck up, I wanted to write fluff, Instead I wrote angst, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, This is my first time writing for Marvel, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, go figure, including me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6983287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gibbs_and_Jibbs/pseuds/Gibbs_and_Jibbs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers just wants to be happy for once in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No One's Ever Going to Need Somebody More Than I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> Title of this fic comes from the song Killing You by Ivy Levan which I suggest you guys listen to. She's wonderful. I don't own Marvel (if I did Steve wouldn't be a fucking Nazi but that's none of my business) so please don't sue. This is my first time writing for the Marvel Universe so I hope I didn't fuck up.

Steve didn’t know what hurt worse; the utter betrayal in Tony’s eyes when he had revealed that he knew the truth about his parents’ death or Tony’s face twisted in fear when he had brought his shield down on the arc reactor. Tony had been _afraid_ of him, like he actually believed that Steve would have killed him. Looking back, Steve wasn’t sure if Tony’s fear was unjustified.

He had intended to only incapacitate Tony, yet rationality flew out the window when the unibeam had shot forth from Tony’s chest, blasting Bucky’s arm off in the process. Practically seeing red, Steve’s mind had been consumed with the need to protect _his_ Bucky and destroy anything that got in his way. His attacks had become relentless until finally he had ripped off the Iron Man helmet before grabbing his shield. Anticipating his attack, Tony threw up his arms to cover his face, yelling in shock and pain when the very shield that his father had made destroyed the arc reactor. He couldn’t, wouldn’t kill Tony, but he came close.

Every night Steve woke up gasping, covered in sweat; in his dreams he would lose control and bring the shield down with one swift blow. Tony would scream and then there would be silence as the life faded from his eyes. He preferred the dreams where he lost their war. At least then Tony would be safe...from him. He knew that the letter he had sent was a shoddy apology for all he had done, although he hoped that Tony would understand ~~he hoped that Tony would forgive him~~. The silence of the burner phone he bought revealed enough about what Tony had thought of his apology and it drove him insane.

On particularly bad nights when he felt the walls closing in, choking him with guilt and remorse, Steve wanted so desperately to pick up the phone to call Tony. He wanted someone to _listen_. Unfortunately, he couldn’t risk someone tracking the call. Despite T’Challa’s promise that any call he made from the phone was untraceable, he wouldn’t risk the safety of his team. Nor did he want to put T’Challa into trouble with the UN for breaking the Accords. It wasn’t fair to them. But ever since waking up from the ice, Steve had realized that life wasn’t fair.

When he woke up from the ice, he was told that they had won the war. What they didn’t tell him was that everyone he knew and loved was dead. Except that was a lie; Bucky and Peggy had lived. Then Bucky had ran away from him every time he got close to finding him and Peggy died and it was like waking up from the ice all over again; he was all alone in an unfamiliar world that he didn’t belong in. For once in his life he wanted to be selfish, Goddamn it. He wanted to call Tony and he wanted Bucky to be safe from Hydra’s clutches and for fuck’s sake he wanted his team to go home. But he was Captain America and Captain America couldn’t afford to be selfish. He was also Steve Rogers, a kid from Brooklyn who just wanted to be happy.

“ _So was I_.”

Watering brown eyes staring at him with despair.

“ _So was I_.”

An anguished shout. 

" _So was I_.” Dropping the shield, leaving behind one of his best friends. ~~They could have been more~~.

Those three words haunted him every waking moment, resounding throughout his mind like the chime of a bell. “ ~~I love you~~ I’m sorry” he wanted to say.

He just wanted to be happy. Why couldn’t he be happy?

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write fluff and instead I wrote angst. This was written just to help me get over my Civil War feels. (It didn't work). I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it or not. Comment below and tell me what you think! You can also find me on my tumblr under jibbs-or-gibbs.


End file.
